Thursday, January 18, 2007

Karirin Daw Ba?

say ng iba wa daw akiz plano sa buhay. forever parlor na daw ang drama. ang totoo niyan, havs naman akiz ng karir plan para sumikat. na-edit out lang.

wit knowings ng madlang pipol ang pakipagsapalaran ko kina simon, paula at randy. at hinarap ko sila ng may tapang, dignidad, bilib sa sarili at tatlong kaing ng mangga panuhol.

CUE IN AMERICAN IDOL THEME

randy: wassup, dawg!

paula: whats your name, honey?

wanda: my neym is wanda. wanda ilusyunada po. prom da seben tawsan one hundred and seven ... six islands ... seven ... (magbibilang kunwari) ... PILIPINS!?!

randy: wow! i know a few filipino words.

paula: really?

randy: hear me out. thats "mabuhay!" and "mahal ko kita."

lecheng mga onaks to. anditraks na nga sa makati halos lahat ng kabuhayan nila, dadalawang tagalog lang talaga knowings ng mga hitad. bobita peron, ikaw ba yan?

simon: so why are you here, wanda?

wanda: becoz i tink ... i feel ... (maglalabas ng tagalog-english dictionary) i know dat i am da next ... da next american ... top model.

paula: oh, honey, i think you're on the wrong show.

randy: this is american idol, dawg?!

wanda: ay ganon ba? i want dat too. yes, dat too.

simon: what makes you think you're the one we're looking for?

wanda: kasi ganito yan. i wanted to help my perents. i hav ten broders and sisters and we have no food. we only eat champorado por krismas and new year. my tatay drinks jin bulag por breakfast and one lapad por midnight snak. and now he has problem wit da atay ... liver pala ... liver. i walked only to come here to be the next american top model.

randy: idol, man?! wuzz wrong with you?

paula: what are you gonna sing for us today?

wanda: i am going to sing "maalaala mo kaya" becoz dat is my lola's feyborit song. dats a beri old old old song. en my lola's old old old too. now she's dead. en i am sad. so i am going to sing "maalaala mo kaya," dedicated to my dead lola. and por my tatay hus probably drinking jin bulag now sa kanto.

ayan! naset-up ko na ang drama sa likodstra ng pangarap. eh di super sing na ang lola mo.

simon: what in the world are you trying to do?

wanda: im singing "maalaala mo kaya" for my old old old and dead lola.

simon: well your lowlah would wish she'd die again if she could only hear you. whoever told you you can sing?

wanda: magic sing po and oder bidyoke machine.

randy: heh? wuzz that?

wanda: its bidyoke machine. bidyoke!?! the bidyoke machine sed "yor a greyt singer!" and also "yor a pantastic singer!" i got 96 score for "maalaala mo kaya." i could go higher. pero i cant sing enimore. i dont have 5 pesos enimore.

paula: you're good. i just think you're not quite there yet.

randy: you're ayt, paula.

wanda: ano daw?

randy: i think you need some practice.

wanda: hindi nga?

randy: i think you do. go find a vocal coach and practice some more. maybe next year you could come back again. ayt?

wanda: so no hollywood por me?

paula: i dont think so, honey.

wanda: no yellow paper?

randy: sorry, dawg. this aint for yah.

wanda: so i am not da next american top model?

paula: its idol. american idol.

simon: and thats a "no" for you.

wanda: eh bwakananginamopalaeh!!!

randy: whoa, that sounds cool, dawg! wuzz that mean?

wanda: erm ... (labas uli tagalog-english dictionary, kunwari nagbabasa) ... dat mins tenk you beri beri much por yor time and effort until we mit agen i hop you enjoy yor stay.

randy: and thats just in one word? ayt, you filipinos are so kewl!?!

wanda: yes ... bwakananginamo hehehe

paula: and thanks for the mangoes too.

wanda: oh no, im going to take dat bak to da pilipins. you sure im not american idol?

simon: 100% positive.

wanda: top model, eh? no? iron chef???

simon: just go.

pag exit ni atashi, linabas ng lola mo prom da bulsa ko yung dilaw na papel na pinamimigay nila sa mga naka-pasa. meron ako non. pinagawa ko sa recto. P150 isa. dagdag bente kung bet mo rush ahihihi

at nagsisisigaw si atashi ng "i got in! i got in!" at kinuyog ako ng mga kajulisan at ng immigration. illegal entry to america via LBC.

dapat ipapalabas yun kagabi. na-edit out. naudlot tuloy kasikatan ko.

1 comment:

racky said...

buti naman, para di ka maging alipin ni onkel Sam heheheh!

ej, subukan mo kaya sa amin ...Deutschland Sucht Den Superstar naman :D